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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24800968">The Consequence of War</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Florgroc/pseuds/Florgroc'>Florgroc</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Sailor Senshi After the War [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon, Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (Anime &amp; Manga)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I love them so much I just want them to be happy, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Sex, Our favorite space lesbians feel guilty, Post Sailor Stars, Post Season 5, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pretty Soldier Sailor Moon - Freeform, Sailor Moon Sailor Stars, Setsuna and Hotaru and Usagi are mentioned, Spoilers, after the war, lesbians in love</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 00:47:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,709</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24800968</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Florgroc/pseuds/Florgroc</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This takes place a month or so after season 5 of Sailor Moon. Haruka and Michiru confront their anxieties and learn to forgive themselves.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kaiou Michiru/Tenoh Haruka</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Sailor Senshi After the War [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1793806</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Consequence of War</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>**Set a few weeks after season 5**</p>
<p>Haruka and Michiru didn’t notice the effects the war had on them right away. But soon enough the darkness from their past found ways to creep into their lives on a conscious level. It was little things, like Michiru avoiding using golden colors in her paintings and Haruka’s heartbeat speeding up when she saw a sudden flash of light in the corner of her eye. Eventually, she took a break from racing cars and motorcycles (much to Michiru’s dismay) because the headlights in her side-view mirrors made her nauseous.</p>
<p>''Haruka. You shouldn’t quit. You love racing.''</p>
<p>''Not when I feel like I’m going to puke every time someone comes up behind me with their flashing lights.''</p>
<p>''Haruka...''</p>
<p>''I know. It’s okay, Michiru.''</p>
<p>But it wasn’t. Being in vast, unlit places made them nervous. Wearing thick, shiny jewelry around their wrists made them nervous. Haruka’s new watch sat on her dresser untouched, while Michiru’s gem bracelets also waited in exile on her vanity. The couple loved Setsuna and Hotaru fiercely but it was hard to look them in the eye the first few days when all Haruka and Michiru could remember was the look of desperation and fear while they stole their star seeds. Although Setsuna and Hotaru reassured them many times that they understood and had even accepted beforehand to use any means necessary to protect the moon princess, the pledge now seemed foolish and weak when Michiru looked back and tried to imagine a world without her fellow Outer Senshi. Even if they had beaten Galaxia with their attacks, would it have been worth it? Was betraying their friends in the name of duty worth it? The war was over and although Setsuna repeated patiently that it was not constructive to relive the past constantly and bury yourself in regret; it was easier said than done.</p>
<p>Especially at night. During the day there were common distractions and pleasures: Hotaru eagerly pulling them into an ice cream parlor for a sweet treat. Setsuna passionately explaining some recent research or discovery at her science lab. Homemade ramen family nights. Going to art galleries with Michiru. Playing the piano while Michiru played her violin. Sex with Michiru.</p>
<p>But at night when one is obligated to sleep and it’s impossible to pull yourself out of a frightening dream, was when the couple suffered. Haruka would twist in on herself, whimpering and clutching the sheets, her forehead shiny with sweat in the pale moonlight, and her eyebrows furrowed in distress. Usually, Michiru would awaken-she never slept long or deeply those days and would gently stroke Haruka’s arm and whisper calming things, trying to wake her without scaring her.</p>
<p>''Shhh Baby. It’s okay. You’re okay. We’re safe. We’re together. We won. It’s okay.'' The statements felt like a mantra repeated over and over in the early hours of the morning until Haruka eventually opened her dark blue eyes and the relief was palpable. Usually, she would breathe deeply, curl closer to her lover, and aim to dream of more pleasant things.</p>
<p>Tonight was different. Tonight Haruka looked up at Michiru pitifully and said in a voice thick with sadness:</p>
<p>''Michiru. Oh God. Michiru- how could we do that?! How could I do that..'' Michiru felt the snake of regret twist up in her chest but suppressed it for Haruka’s sake. Today, Haruka needed comforting. So she pulled the tall blonde to her chest and wrapped her arms around her protectively.</p>
<p>''It was the only thing we could think of that could work, Haruka. We didn’t mean it. You know we didn’t. It’s how we fought. It was the only way we knew how.''</p>
<p>''But Usagi...But she never-''</p>
<p>''That is why she’s our princess. She knew how to save us and everyone without hurting a fly. We never had ill intentions. How could we have known that Galaxia would be so strong? Even if our plan had worked, Setsuna and Hotaru would have been sacrificed. It is the way of war. It’s ugly and cruel, but sometimes these actions are necessary. What’s important is that our friends understand, they love us, we love them. We didn’t pretend to switch sides out of fear but for love.''</p>
<p>Haruka smiled weakly. ''You sound like Sailor Moon.''</p>
<p>Michiru laughed and buried her face in Haruka’s hair. ''I guess I do. But isn’t that the point? Love and compassion helped her win, it was how she saved our souls and the universe from going to shit. Love was the answer in the end. We’ve been struggling with duty for so long that we forget love is what completes us. What heals us.''</p>
<p>Haruka’s eyes glistened with emotion. ''I meant what I said that night, you know. I wouldn’t hesitate to sell my soul to the devil as long as I get to be with you. I hope that doesn’t make me selfish.''</p>
<p>Michiru tightened her hold around Haruka as though trying to transmit all her love and emotions for the woman through her skin.<br/>''I know. Thankfully we didn’t have to, but I’d follow you anywhere. Damnation together is better than complete destruction. It’s better than being apart.''</p>
<p>And suddenly Haruka realizes it’s true. Yes, she robbed her Outer Senshi family of their star seeds. Yes, she pulled Michiru with her into her terrible plan- she wouldn’t have had the strength to pretend if Michiru had denied her. She had seen the look of betrayal on Usagi’s face from afar and felt the evil presence of Galaxia up close and the never-ending waves of shame and desperation. The helplessness and guilt that ate her up that day still plagued her weeks later, but ultimately if she had to do it over again, she would have. If it meant there was a possibility for a peaceful future. If it guaranteed the safety of the universe. If it meant she could hold Michiru’s hand once again and stand by her side.</p>
<p>Was eternal regret a suitable punishment for a poorly executed plan? For having hope? For last resorts that involved sacrifices? For condemning your lover to trauma and guilt-filled existence? Plenty of people had died at the hands of war and corruption and conflict. Regardless of the motive, innocent lives have always been lost and will continue to be lost. Haruka couldn’t focus on the past when her present was full of forgiveness and love. How dare she waste it when she was given the opportunity to try again while so many others perished wordlessly? Love- God, it was so strong and it filled Haruka’s heart like a balloon that kept expanding. She sobbed soundlessly against Michiru’s breast. Everyone had forgiven her. Maybe she could forgive herself.</p>
<p>Michiru stroked her lover’s hair and kissed her head as she tried to ignore the burning sensation in her chest. She didn’t know what was going on inside Haruka’s mind, but she could imagine. ''I love you I love you I love you.'' She whispered as Haruka’s shaking slowed. This wasn’t the first time they had talked about the event, but it was the first time she had seen Haruka so raw and vulnerable. They both had had their fair share of tears, but crying was usually a personal matter. Something they did privately, like when Michiru was in the shower or when Haruka was on her evening jog. Talking about it didn’t seem productive, but maybe that’s what they needed. That night there seemed to have been some kind of breakthrough. The burning sensation in Michiru’s chest grew until she felt her own tears well up in her eyes and slide down the sides of her face, wetting her ears. It felt like release.</p>
<p>Haruka nuzzled gently against Michiru’s chest and exhaled. ''Thank you.'' Machiavellianism was a bitch if your heart didn’t mean it. Still in a daze of exhaustion, both emotional and physical, Haruka managed to fall asleep again. Michiru didn’t. Not for a long time.<br/>Somehow she must have managed to though because she felt herself awaken to Haruka caressing her face gently. Michiru smiled in acknowledgment, her eyes still closed, and a moment later felt Haruka’s lips press softly against hers. It was so grounding, so comforting, but Haruka was already pulling away. Michiru lifted her arms in an attempt to capture her girlfriend’s short hair and pull her back to her, but the blonde seemed out of reach. Frustrated, Michiru finally opened her eyes and sleepily looked up to find Haruka dressed and sitting at the corner edge of their bed.</p>
<p>''Morning beautiful,'' Haruka said with a half-smile.</p>
<p>''Good morning...why are you dressed already? What time is it?''</p>
<p>''Almost ten. I went out for a ride on the motorcycle.''<br/>Michiru felt hope blossom in her chest. Maybe Haruka was doing better if she was driving by herself again. Of course, she couldn’t dive in too quickly so she instead she raised an eyebrow and with a smile asked coyly:</p>
<p>''Without me?''</p>
<p>''You looked so peaceful and lovely sleeping I didn’t want to wake you.'' Michiru thought about it and although she didn’t get much sleep last night she felt more refreshed this morning that she had in a long time.</p>
<p>''Hm. I guess you’ll just have to make it up to me somehow. '' Michiru said, fluffing her turquoise hair under the guise of indifference.</p>
<p>Haruka laughed and began to take off her blazer. ''My adoring fans will be devastated. At least three women swooned as I rode past them.''</p>
<p>Michiru rolled her eyes but couldn’t help smiling. Her partner was always such a tease. She sat up to help Haruka unbutton her white shirt. ''Let's go riding, Michiru'' Haruka continued insistently. ''I forgot how good the wind felt against my body.'' Haruka’s torso was now exposed and Michiru wasted no time to press her hand against Haruka’s toned stomach and up to grasp her jaw.</p>
<p>"Later.'' She whispered in her ear. ''Right now the only thing you’ll feel against your body is mine.''<br/>Haruka laughed quietly and pulled Michiru closer to her. Michiru kissed her neck slowly but inside, between the arousal and lingering sleepiness, felt a growing blaze of optimism. For them. For a fearless future.</p>
<p> </p>
<pre class="tw-data-text tw-text-large XcVN5d tw-ta">  <span>終わり</span>
</pre>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is the first fanfic I've posted to AO3! I recently finished rewatching all of Pretty Soldier Sailor Moon and wanted to explore some emotions and possible events that could be occurring in the lives of our beloved Senshi after season 5. Enjoy! &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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